So new job and I am two weeks into it. It is a good job, but the pay will hopefully come better. It is definitely an industry that has potential, especially with government regulations requiring updates. The docs that go cheap at first will be the best in the end, as they will have to come to the better option.
There is a ton of stuff to learn, but I think I am doing well. We shall see in the coming weeks as I get more complicated problems and they look over the work I have done.
So in these two weeks, I have done one of the stupidest things I have ever done, I bought a new car. A Honda element. We were looking at a car in the next six months, but we got roped in because they stopped making them. We are pretty much tapped for a few months now, with Disneyland coming up in October. Hopefully it will work out.
Lastly, what the Fuck is going on with my country? The idiots argue over two trillion dollars over 10 years. Oh and that is less than 10% of the debt. Really? A drunk idiot could do a better job. A real person, or hell a corporation, would be laughed out of business trying to do the same. Oh you think its a good idea to keep spending and borrowing things? Oh and you will be 26 trillion, TRILLION, dollars in debt in 10 years. What the hell is wrong with you?
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Destiny
I think about destiny a lot, and how I do not feel as though I am living up to my destiny. I feel as though I was born into the wrong time. I pick up a sword and it feels right. I have ridden a horse once in my adult life, and once at age 6, and it felt natural. The girl I was riding with couldn't believe that I had never ridden a horse before really. I was able to guide the horse naturally. The same feels right when I pick up a sword. I feel as though I have been born into a time where I cannot fit into my destiny right.
Plus there is the fact that I just can't help but get in my own way. Either some cosmic event comes in and I can't handle it, ie my father dying or my store burning down, or I just make the wrong choice. I knew before I took my job at Games Workshop that it was a game changer. I knew that I would not come back from the 3 months the same, and I sensed it was a bad thing. I just didn't listen to myself. Not being with my children every day is something I wish I could change. Even though I know that the situation I was in was not the best. I hated my life and could not enjoy my time with my children.
They say that hindsight is 20/20. I made a poor choice but staying staying in that relationship would have been worse. I made a choice that was best for me, and I hope that it was the right choice for the boys. I did not like the person I was when we lived in Moscow. I think that things could have ended worse, even though I didn't handle it the best.
So to wrap this up, I still feel lost. I always have. It has taken me 10 years to finish a 2 year degree and stick to computers as a career. It doesn't feel right, but it is a way to make money. I want to be a part of something bigger, but I have not found this yet. One day it will show up or it will not. Hitting the milestone of 30 probably doesn't mean jack all to destiny. I will get there when I can, maybe I should stop looking for it and just enjoy my days.
Plus there is the fact that I just can't help but get in my own way. Either some cosmic event comes in and I can't handle it, ie my father dying or my store burning down, or I just make the wrong choice. I knew before I took my job at Games Workshop that it was a game changer. I knew that I would not come back from the 3 months the same, and I sensed it was a bad thing. I just didn't listen to myself. Not being with my children every day is something I wish I could change. Even though I know that the situation I was in was not the best. I hated my life and could not enjoy my time with my children.
They say that hindsight is 20/20. I made a poor choice but staying staying in that relationship would have been worse. I made a choice that was best for me, and I hope that it was the right choice for the boys. I did not like the person I was when we lived in Moscow. I think that things could have ended worse, even though I didn't handle it the best.
So to wrap this up, I still feel lost. I always have. It has taken me 10 years to finish a 2 year degree and stick to computers as a career. It doesn't feel right, but it is a way to make money. I want to be a part of something bigger, but I have not found this yet. One day it will show up or it will not. Hitting the milestone of 30 probably doesn't mean jack all to destiny. I will get there when I can, maybe I should stop looking for it and just enjoy my days.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Rants and Ravings
So I created a wargaming blog yesterday, Sergentzimm's Wargaming Blog, but I realized I have more random rants that I want to spew onto the internet. So thus, this blog is born. This will be about as random as my brain is, and really just an excuse to start writing on a daily basis.
Today I want to talk a little politics. First, politics. Anyone that thinks their congressmen cares about them better be rich or they are delusional. Those in power have only one goal, to stay on the top. The three P's rule the world. Power Prestige and Property. This is what rules the world. We in America have been hoodwinked into thinking that we are different. The only real difference is that it is possible, however unlikely, to rise in station and social class. You can have an idea or work hard to become rich. In all reality, you will work your ass off to merely give your money to those corrupt in power.
The reason we are seeing a resurgence of socialist ideals in our politics is that is what we all want to hear. We all want to hear that we can work for a few years, then the government will take care of us. It's a silly idea that will not work. Why? Because eventually you have more people relying on the system than are willing to pay into it, see Europe. But we buy into this crap because we are idiots and sheep.
The only thing we have left, and the only thing that scares the crap out of the government, is the free speech we have on the internet. I can spout my political leanings and ideals and there should be no reprisals. I am willing to fight for everyone's free speech, unless they try and shut down others.
Right now I believe we have a government and leaders who do not like free speech and want to clamp down those that oppose them. This is a natural human instinct, but it must be opposed. I love how those that talk about the constitution are labeled racist and ignorant. It is all hypocritical designed to keep us waging a class and political war while they do what they want.
Sadly, nobody will read this, but that is not the point of this. I merely want a record of my thoughts and desires at this point in my life. On the internet, this will live on. Although history teaches us that humans will cycle through times of hatred and ignorance, thus trying to destroy information, I hope the internet will always live on.
Today I want to talk a little politics. First, politics. Anyone that thinks their congressmen cares about them better be rich or they are delusional. Those in power have only one goal, to stay on the top. The three P's rule the world. Power Prestige and Property. This is what rules the world. We in America have been hoodwinked into thinking that we are different. The only real difference is that it is possible, however unlikely, to rise in station and social class. You can have an idea or work hard to become rich. In all reality, you will work your ass off to merely give your money to those corrupt in power.
The reason we are seeing a resurgence of socialist ideals in our politics is that is what we all want to hear. We all want to hear that we can work for a few years, then the government will take care of us. It's a silly idea that will not work. Why? Because eventually you have more people relying on the system than are willing to pay into it, see Europe. But we buy into this crap because we are idiots and sheep.
The only thing we have left, and the only thing that scares the crap out of the government, is the free speech we have on the internet. I can spout my political leanings and ideals and there should be no reprisals. I am willing to fight for everyone's free speech, unless they try and shut down others.
Right now I believe we have a government and leaders who do not like free speech and want to clamp down those that oppose them. This is a natural human instinct, but it must be opposed. I love how those that talk about the constitution are labeled racist and ignorant. It is all hypocritical designed to keep us waging a class and political war while they do what they want.
Sadly, nobody will read this, but that is not the point of this. I merely want a record of my thoughts and desires at this point in my life. On the internet, this will live on. Although history teaches us that humans will cycle through times of hatred and ignorance, thus trying to destroy information, I hope the internet will always live on.
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